I'd Lie
by upriserseven
Summary: AU. Addison and Derek have been friends for years,a nd she hates hiding her feelings from him. Addek.


**Author's Note: **This is my first Grey's Anatomy fanfiction, so please be as kind as you can. I'm not generally an Addek fan. (Addex all the way!) But, I watched a video on youtube, and got the idea from that. So thankyou, pheobecolefan. I love your videos.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Grey's Anatomy, as shocking as that may be to you. I also do not own the song. Gosh, I don't even really own this idea, although I kinda do.. I don't know.

* * *

Pulling into the car park where he told me to pick him up, I try to ignore the fact that he had a 'plus one' on his invitation; did he take somebody with him? I don't think I could handle giving him and his no doubt drop-dead-gorgeous date a lift back to his place. Hearing the door to the bar swing open and The Rocket Summer's 'Everything You've Got' blasting out, I turn my head, Phew, looks like he's alone. He jumps in and hugs me.

"Thanks for this Addie, I don't think I could have lasted another minute in there." he laughs, gesturing toward the bar he just came from.

"Hey, don't worry about it, that's what friends are for right? But, seriously, was it truly that terrible?"

I listen intently and he explains that his room-mate from college, a complete loner, still counts Derek as his best friend, even though they haven't spoken in around 5 years, and Derek never liked him anyway.

_I don't think that passenger seat  
Has ever looked this good to me  
He tells me about his night  
And I count the colors in his eyes_

"…I honestly don't ever see myself getting married; I don't think I'll ever get to that point with somebody. Anyway, so he and his bride, as of around three hours, clearly aren't all that happy. I just don't see the point in marrying someone you don't love. You wouldn't be friends with somebody you don't like, but when there's a cake and a dress involved, it all changes right?"

_He'll never fall in love he swears  
As he runs his fingers through his hair  
I'm laughing __'cause I hope he's wrong  
I don't think it ever crossed his mind  
He tells a joke I fake a smile  
That I know all his favorite songs_

I look at him for a second, trying not to let on that I started daydreaming, and wondering from the look he's giving me, if I should be responding to something he just said. This isn't good. My god Addison, say something, anything!

"It's still pretty early you want to get a drink or something?"

"Well, have you eaten?" Now that he's brought it up, I think about it, and I actually haven't eaten since lunch, and it's nearly 9.

"Nope." Smooth, Addie, you'll be a great doctor with a vocabulary like that.

"How about we get a takeout, my treat, go back to my place and watch a movie?"

"Uh, yeah, sure. You wanna go to the place on Webber Street?"

"Yeah, that place is my favourite, how'd you know that?"

_I could tell you his favorite color's green  
He loves to argue, born on the seventeenth  
His sister's beautiful, he has his father's eyes  
And if you asked me if I love him,  
I'd lie_

"Uh, it's my favourite place too."

"Oh, snap" He grins at me, I've obviously covered that pretty well.

"So, what movie d'you wanna watch?"

"Ooh, lets see, I have the extensive Addek DVD collection." We both laugh, the Addek DVD collection is all the movies that we both love, and movies we've introduced each other too. Rather than saying 'Addison and Derek' all the time, we morphed it, like tabloids do with celebrity couples, like, Brangelina or Bennifer.

"OK, how about Memento?"

"Oh, nope, Jack borrowed it."

"We could watch it at my place instead?"

"OK, you're on."

10 minutes later, I pull up at my apartment block. I get out, Derek carried the food. As usual, we've ordered way too much. Never mind, I can eat it tomorrow, when I'm moping at yet another missed opportunity to tell him how I feel. God, I'm depressing! As he walks in and puts the food down, he looks for new features, as he always does. He knows I'm always collecting junk from vintage stores.

_He looks around the room  
Innocently overlooks the truth  
Shouldn't a light go on?  
Doesn't he know that I've had him memorized for so long?  
He sees everything black and white  
Never let nobody see him cry  
I don't let nobody see me wishing he was mine_

Sometimes I have to laugh at the stupidity of it all, we've been best friends for 5 years, and I've been in love with him, for 5 years. I can't believe I still haven't found the courage to tell him. At this rate, I'll still be procrastinating in the retirement home. I realize just how pathetic I am, when I know exactly which parts of the movie will make him mad and which parts will make him yell at the screen, every time we've watched this movie, I've been heavily distracted by the guy sitting next to me, stealing my food.

_I could tell you his favorite color's green  
He loves to argue, born on the seventeenth  
His sister's beautiful, he has his father's eyes  
And if you asked me if I love him__,  
I'd lie_

But, of course as they do, the movie ends, so he has to go home. I hate this part. The part where I am internally screaming at myself. Not for not telling him, that comes later, but for being stupid enough to fall for him in the first place. What the hell kind of film did I think I was in, where it was acceptable to fall for my best friend? I mean, this is real life, not some dumb TV show. But as always, I let it go, he hugs me, kisses my cheek and tells me he'll see me tomorrow.

"Yeah, OK. Bye" I close the door behind him and sigh.

_He stands there then walks away  
My god if I could only say  
I'm holding every breath for you..._

Now I just feel like a stalker, not only do I know practically everything about the guy, I'm sitting outside his house in my car. One night I have to tell him, on night has to finally be when I pull myself together, make a fool of myself, and ruin my relationship with my best friend. And tonight is as good a time as ever right? So, as slowly as I possibly can, I step out the car and make my way towards the front door. I can hear strumming inside, good, that means that he hasn't gone to bed yet.

"Deep breath, Addie, you can do this." I tell myself as I lift the big brass door knocker.

It opens almost immediately and I take a second to take in the sight of Derek in his pyjama pants and tight white vest.

"Addison? Is something wrong?"

I clear my throat, due to a fear it may come out all squeaky if I try to answer right now. Not being able to find words, I just shake my head, and he gestures for me to come in.

_He'd never tell you but he can play guitar  
I think he can see through everything  
But my heart  
First thought when I wake up is  
My god he's beautiful  
So I put on my make up  
And pray for a miracle_

OK, well I'm here, and I have to be here for something, no chickening out now. I'm ridiculously pathetic; I actually touched up my make up before I left the house. Not that it'd make a difference. I nothing compared to the girls Derek usually dates.

He's looking at me now, its sweet how worried he is. I can see it in his eyes.

"I have to tell you something"

"Sure, anything, what's up?"

"I sort of, have, feelings." he looks confused. Well of course he is, could I be any more non-specific?

"For you. I have feelings for you."

"Me?"

"Yeah, you." God, I can't read the look on his face. What have I done?

"Feelings. As in…."

"As in, I'm in love with you." Oh, nice going. Non-specific wasn't good but this might be worse.

Nothing. No reaction whatsoever…. until this.

Is he smiling? Is he seriously smiling? Or is he laughing at me? No, that's a smile, I'm sure it is.

"Good, that's good."

"It is?"

I think complete euphoria set in about then, because all I really remember is a nod, and him moving in towards me.

_Yes I could tell you his favorite color's green  
He loves to argue oh and it kills me  
His sisters beautiful he has his father's eyes  
And if you asked me if I love him  
If you asked me if I love him  
I'd lie_


End file.
